Monday, January 7, 2013

Sportpocalypse: 2013 BCS National Championship

What a f#$%ing joke! I hate college football! The long awaited and highly anticipated BCS National Championship game pitting the #1 ranked Notre Dame Fighting Irish versus the #2 Alabama Crimson Tide was a complete and utter joke!  The teams were so unevenly matched that after the first three minutes, the game was essentially over.  All I could think was how stupid I am that I didn't put the house on Alabama -10. As pathetic as it is, even a four team playoff system would have fixed this!

This joke of a game makes it abundantly more clear that a playoff system must be put into place NOW!!! Do we really have to wait through another year of this bull$#^t? No one ever disputes the winner of the March Madness tournament, and sure Alabama has been dominant over the last few years, but even they don't want to win like this. It's not about the competition or even crowning an actual champion, the current bowl setup is 100% about cash. This ESPN article spells it out pretty well about how the Bowls have become so powerful that they are robbing the schools as well.  As if it wasn't bad enough that kids are going $30-100K in debt to get an education but now some scheming Bowl Execs are scheming that money out of the schools as well.  Add that to the list of reasons why tuition is constantly increasing.


Blaaaaaaaaaaghhhghhhghghg.  (I just threw up on my keyboard when I got a reminder that my student loan payment was due.)

I love watching football, maybe it's because I'm a skinny ass wimp just dreaming of ever being athletic enough to compete with those monsters, maybe it is because fantasy football allows me to play manager that gives me a semblance of power over millionaires, or maybe it's simply because it is a compelling and wonderful game.  Let me correct myself, I love watching PRO-fessional football...more precisely the NFL.  The NCAA, the high powered coaches, the enslavement of the student athletes, and all the politics make for a watered down and morally reprehensible product of football.  If I hear of one more quarterback from the south named Colt, or Boomer, or Gunner, or Hunter, or Chip, or Major, or Slingshot, or Ace, I'm going to lose my $#^%.
Hunter Cantwell

The thing I hate about college football most is that it is full grade A ass-kissers (Tebow), primadonnas(Leinart), and no talent hacks (Leaf, Couch, Etc...). It's so political, starting positions and scholarships are promised to 13 years old children!  How in the hell can Mantei "I missed six tackles in the first three minutes on the BCS National Championship Game" Te'o even be in the Heisman Trophy discussion? (And don't even get me started about how the 'Heisman' winners never do anything on the next level!) Because he goes to a prominent university that had a cake schedule and he has a good story?  Sure I love Mormon's more than the next guy, but come on!

College head coaches are akin to gods on their respective campus', and these egomaniacal assholes are simply disgusting human beings (I don't have to point any further than Joe Paterno, who harbored that piece of shit gutter snake named Sandusky to live, thrive, and rape under his watch for years and years and years.) Every year you hear another terrible story of a college coach doing something horrific and then getting away with it, year after year after year.  Same old story, same old result.

College football does have its flashes of brilliance, its faint glow of beauty.  Once every twenty years we get a Texas/USC Championship game  There is no other sport that is as innovative as college football. (Strange, especially that it thrives in the most conservative and least innovative parts of the country). Look at the evolution of the spread offense, the diversity of play calling, super athletic i.e. African American quarterbacks which have spurred the evolution of the pro game. I only wish my hometown Arizona Cardinals had the balls to hire Chip Kelly. (But they won't, they'll hire some idiot and keep putting their sixty million dollar man, Kevin Kolb out there as the years pass by and Larry Fitzgerald withers away into the 'what could have been' category)

It's a hard system to fix, just like everything in this post-modern-post-Mayan apocalypse-world, college football is overshadowed by corruption, greed and politics. Over the last few years, I haven't really watched all that much college football... but this year I got sucked in just a little bit more than usual and got swept away by the romance of the whole thing.  It was the perfect matchup for ESPN, for the bowl committee, for the BCS and for the NCAA...seems like the only ones that lost this year and every year were the fans.

Looks like we have at least one more year of this garbage.

#apocalypse