Sunday, April 1, 2012

Marijuanapocalypse

What if marijuana could really save the world?  Maybe I'm just really high right now, or maybe I'm just plain crazy, but what if we stopped criminalizing marijuana and instead regulated its growth and consumption, ending some of the needless violence and madness, meanwhile making inroads to a revolutionary and new understanding of what we call "The Drug War".

Politicians, presidents, scholars.. and more from all around the world are denouncing the war on drugs.  Even Pat Robertson has decried the war on drugs as a failure.  A human being's most unalienable right is control of one's own body and mind.  The government is in a game of consciousness control that it fears will be lost if you get high.



What if people got high at happy hours and then went home and didn't beat their wives and children, but instead cuddled with them?  What if instead of drunk driving, a marijuana induced epidemic of 'slow driving' overtook the world?  What if marijuana were legal and you could buy it at your local drugstore?  Could you imagine your mother not being on Xanax and chardonnay for once? If she just got home and smoked a bowl, or ate an edible, or shit (she's good at taking pills) what if she took a THC pill and then chilled the fuck out? How great would that be?

What about the side effects? Okay, so she got a little hungry and made grilled cheese sandwiches for everyone.  That would be fucking crazy right? What if your dad didn't come home from a long week of work and pop open a bottle of whiskey?

What if he just rolled a joint instead?

The majority of people always say that they would smoke marijuana if it was legal, this doesn't mean that people are going to dedicate their lives to getting high, but responsible adults would be able to enjoy an occasional toke as they now can enjoy an adult beverage.

Okay, so it has long been established established that there is both reasonable and scientific credibility to the claim that marijuana can be a good thing.  If you don't believe me, read this or just google 'the benefits of cannabis' or something like that and you'll have a bevy of articles from credible news outfits and organizations that tell the 'truth' about this schedule I narcotic. (Whereas opium and morphine are schedule II. WTF?)


Okay, but for it to be a Marijuan-A-pocalypse, this shit has got to get deeper.  What if legalizing marijuana opened up a portal in the human collective consciousness.  That thing deep inside of us that we all kind of feel at one point or another, but cannot ever connect at the same time. What if we were all high at the same time?  Holy shit this ('Regular' (ie not Platinum) Blue Dream shit is good!)  If a larger number of people traveled through the conscious construct known as the human brain and really explored it could we finally map what is going on inside there?  Don't even get me started on mushrooms! What if deep at the center of our collective conscious was an alien being that told us the secrets of the universe, but this could only ever happen if every being on the planet consumed marijuana at the same time?  What if the government knows this but also knows it is impossible with 7 billion people on the planet so they are just going to kill off the majority until they have about 144,000 people left to get high at the same time?  What if...

People have been using marijuana for some 5,000 years and there has NEVER been a death reported directly from the plant (and you can't say that someone who died of a heroin (schedule II narcotic) smoked weed fourteen years before and thus...)  I mean sure, plenty of people have done stupid shit while high and gotten themselves killed, but that is no reason to blame or be afraid of marijuana, its really just God/Science's way of getting rid of stupid people. That argument would be like saying Mountain Dew should be outlawed because some dude slammed a Dew before jumping on a motorcycle and popping wheelies on the freeway and ended up a scab on the pavement.  (Mmmm..Mountain Dew...I'm so high I want a Moun...holy shit, that shit is so vile it can dissolve a mouse?)


They are finding more and more uses for the plant every day.

Let's not pretend that marijuana would solve all of our problems... (but look what it's done for me? I'm a 29 year old college grad that works at a dead end job and has almost no money to his name!! HOORAY WEED!)...lets just say that it was legal.  Let's make one simple rule for all of society.  The farmers rule.  If you can grow it from the earth, you can keep it.  And if you follow the government regulations for packaging it (ie alcohol) you can distribute.  Problems with drugs happen 90% of the time because of a lack of information.  We'd have to agree on universal language to label strength, strain and potency. (Something like this).
Regulation will save lives in this case and make money as well as jobs for the troubled state and federal government as a whole.

The books have been written, the blogs have been posted, it's time.  Time to get these bought and paid for politicians to pull their heads out their asses and face the tobacco lobby and the pharmaceutical lobby and say NO!.  No! I will not accept that all expenses paid trip to the Cayman Islands, I want marijuana to be legal so that the mothers of the United States of America can get off their Xanax and chardonnay diet and just smoke a little pot and then write that romance novel they've always wanted to!!

-Travis Spencer is the editor of aPODcalypticTimes.com, follow him on Twitter!

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